July 12, 2018
Happy half birthday to my little love.
I dreamt of you long before I was able to meet you… I wondered what you would look like, what your personality would be like.. I wondered which ways you would be like daddy and which ways you would be like me.
I had some clues about you before you were born. I knew you would be strong and active, you told me by the way you seemed to never rest for very long in my tummy and the way my belly contorted into the weirdest shapes when you were stretching and moving around. I learned that you like to snuggle, since you decided to stay nestled in tight in my tummy until 2 weeks past your due date. I knew you would be happy… Daddy and I were so curious about you, we had a 3D ultrasound and saw you smile when I was 25 weeks pregnant… I didn’t even know babies that little could smile in their mommy’s tummy, but you did.
I have loved discovering more about you every day since you arrived six months ago. You are beautiful and bright, you are curious and captivating. You are spunky and spirited, you are silly, you are sweet, you are strong. You are more than we could have ever asked for and we can’t believe you are ours.
I am trying to cherish your littleness every day. I want to remember the way it feels when you snuggle into me, the way you smile when I sing “What a Wonderful World”, the way you look at me when I’m pushing you in your stroller, and the way you smile at me proudly when you learn something new. There have been some tears from mama in the last week. I cried when you were showing me how you could sit up for so long without help (I know, this seems silly to cry about, but the way you looked at me, I could tell you wanted me to be proud of you… I am..), I cried when we put you to sleep last night in your crib in your own room instead of the bassinet in mommy and daddy’s room, and I cried because I knew you were ready and I wasn’t. And I have tears writing this now because I am just so darn happy that you are here…
I remember going past my due date with you. Two weeks to be exact. There are so many things in life we have no control over and this was one of them. I tried to stay positive and but I was scared… Just over a year before your due date, I found out about our miscarriage. We wanted a baby so bad but at the time, it wasn’t meant to be. Because of this, I spent most of my pregnancy irrationally worrying that I wouldn’t get to meet you. It wouldn’t feel real until you were there in my arms. So 6 months ago, 40 hours after being induced, and after 2 long hours of pushing, you arrived. You were here in my arms, alert and observant, with 10 perfect fingers and toes, with daddy right by my side, and I bawled tears of relief and happiness and it was the BEST moment of my entire life.
To say I love you, Mila, is the greatest understatement.
Here is a 6 minute video to celebrate the last 6 months with you. ♥️