I have so much respect for all of the mamas out there. I have been very lucky so far with a smooth pregnancy, but pregnancy is no cakewalk no matter what these pictures may look like. All of the emotional and physical changes that happen whether or not you’re ready for them are things I don’t think I could’ve ever prepared for.
You will feel aches and pains that you’ve never felt before. You will be so tired but your sleep will be restless. Your body will do weird things. And pregnancy is just the beginning of what motherhood will really be like. I think all the harder stuff comes after pregnancy: labour, delivery, and the sleepless days and nights of raising a newborn along with the fear of the unknown. Am I doing this right? Am I too much? Am I not enough?
Being pregnant, you already start to feel like your body is no longer your own. When you eat, you’re mindful of whether or not the baby is getting enough of what they need. You already begin to feel motherly guilt when you do the things people tell you you shouldn’t. But your body also suddenly becomes a free-for-all for people to look (or stare) at and for people to comment on. Some will tell you how big you look, others will tell you how great or small you look. I’ve been asked, “Are you having twins?” and “Are you pregnant or are you just fat?”. All the meanwhile, you smile and laugh. No one likes an angry pregnant lady. But you know what? I know people don’t mean any harm by it. People are just curious and pregnant women, in general, are just very cute. But in the comfort of your home, with your partner, they know how you really feel about all of the changes you’re going through and they know the fear you have that you’re losing yourself and that you may never be the same again.
But with all that being said, I can’t help but think about how amazing it is for women to have bodies that can create a life inside of us. So my body may never be the same again but I am thankful for the miracle happening inside of me. I will always cherish the moments when I can take her with me wherever I go. And I can’t speak for the next steps, because technically I’m in the honeymoon stage of pregnancy, but I’m fairly certain I will miss these times of being pregnant. For that reason, I wanted to capture as many memories as possible and to spend as many of these moments where it’s just Matt and I, enjoying our time together and working on making us better and stronger, so that we can be the best parents we possibly can be.
Our babymoon was more than we could have ever asked for. It was exhausting at points.. running through airports to catch connections, and sleeping on the floor of airports when those connections had been missed.
There were tears from me, about things I probably shouldn’t have cried over (thanks hormones). I remember sitting at a beautiful beachfront cafe silently with tears rolling down my cheeks and Matt having no idea what was happening. The trigger for those tears? It was a lot of things.. probably the exhaustion kicking in, the frustration I felt over the waitress telling me they couldn’t make me a hot chocolate after I realized that was one of the few beverages on the menu I was allowed to have. It was all of the things on the menu I saw that I knew I couldn’t have, including enjoying the view with a glass of vino with Matt. And it was our first vacation where I suddenly felt all my limitations. I couldn’t do all the adventurous things we normally do on vacation. I had to protect our little peanut. I let the tears work themselves out of my system. And then I sucked it up and remembered how lucky I am to have this little peanut inside of me.
We had a wonderful time enjoying Monaco, Eze, and Nice even if it was at a slower pace than we were used to. And boy, is Monaco pricey! There were many times when we opted to share an item on the menu because we were both outraged and terrified about the price tag of our meal items. But the French Riviera is absolutely STUNNING and we had beautiful weather while were there and took memories with us that we won’t forget.
And now, the peak and pit of our trips:
Matt’s: Pit: The silly argument we had that then made us skip dinner and a night out on the town because we were too angry with each other.
Matt’s Peak: Celebrating his 33rd birthday in the exact way we loves to spend his days, with fun activities like volleyball, bowling, playing pool, and finishing the night dining at Blue Bay, an amazing restaurant (where we forced ourself to not look at the price of everything.. because when you commit to going to a Michelin star restaurant, you just can’t.)
My Pit: Finding a maggot at the bottom of my mushroom risotto in Eze after I had basically finished eating the entire thing. My stomach still turns just thinking about it.
My Peak: All of the laughs I had on this trip with Matt… like laughing so hard you feel like Santa Claus-with-your-belly-shaking-like-a-bowl-full-of-jelly laughing. Ok.. Maybe that’s happening because of the pregnant belly. 😛 But I still loved it.
Until next time!